What do you honestly see in me, anyways?

I know exactly what you see.

You see what I want you to see.

I'm exactly what you wanted, not because I'm perfect for you, but because I'm good at becoming what you want.

It's what I do. Not only for you. For everyone.

I'm not me. I'm what you want me to be.

But I'm forgetting what "me" is anymore.

You asked what I'm scared of most, and I lied.

I said something about pleasing everyone, and something about the depth of the ocean.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared of losing myself in all the people I pretend to be.



I wanted what I didn't have. Now I have it, and I don't want it anymore.

I didn't even want it until I thought I couldn't have it.

It's not like I have the choice to get rid of it anyways.



You can tell me I'm not trying.

Not making any effort to be with everyone.

Maybe I'm not.

Maybe there's a part of me that doesn't want to make that effort anymore.

But I could never bring myself to choose.

I could never choose one side over the other.

There would be too much pain regardless of my choice.

So I'll keep bending over backwards.

Counting the hours.

Sharing my time as equally as my life will allow.

And hope that maybe, it'll be good enough for all of you.

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